The Matriarchs Rachel and Leah

The Matriarchs Rachel and Leah:

Tears of the Jewish Mothers, Part 2

In our last class, we explored the inner meaning and greatness of Leah's tears. This week we look at Rachel's tears.

 

To begin our inquiry into the unique impact of Rachel's tears on the Jewish people past, present and future, we turn to a Midrash from the beginning of the Book of Lamentations. The Midrash tells us that God sends the prophet Jeremiah to the Patriarchs, Avraham, Isaac and Jacob, and to Moshe - all of whom have left the world - to ask their participation in mourning and pleading for a better future for the Jewish people. Each advocates for Israel, attempting to appease God by asking Him to reciprocate for his past good deeds.

 

Avraham reminds God of his willingness to have sacrificed, Isaac, his only son. In essence he says to God, "When You told me to sacrifice my son, I became like a cruel person. I did not pay attention to my merciful feelings as a father. I put Isaac on the altar and tied him down in order to sacrifice him. Why will You not reciprocate by having mercy on Your children, Israel?" But God does not respond.

 

Next, Isaac reminds God of his willingness to have allowed himself to be sacrificed by his father, Avraham. He asks that God reciprocate by having compassion for and saving the Jewish people. Again there is no response. Then Jacob comes forward and essentially says, "When I came out of Laban's house where I had worked for twenty years, I was with my family and we met my brother Esav along the way. Esav intended to kill me, and I was ready to have myself killed, in order to save my children. Please remember my deed and, in return, save Your children the Jews." No answer.

 

Finally, Moshe speaks. "Wasn't I a loyal shepherd to the Jewish people for forty years? I led them in the desert and, finally, when they were poised to enter Israel, You told me I was to remain in the desert and die there. I was not allowed to enjoy the fruits of my labor and, now, You call upon me to join You in mourning for something I never had? Please remember my efforts and have mercy on Your people." Again, no response.

 

Each of the Patriarchs, along with Moshe, argues that along with the justice God exacts by exiling the Jews from Israel, He should also show mercy and ultimately save them. But God does not respond.

 

Back to Rachel. The Midrash tells us that she appears in front of God and reiterates to Him how difficult it was for her to have participated in the plan of replacing herself with her sister, Leah, under the bridal canaopy. Rashi from Megillah 13b, gives us a background to this event: "Living up to his reputation as a deceitful rogue, Laban substituted Leah for Rachel on the wedding night. Jacob and Rachel expected Laban to attempt such a deception, and they prepared against it by arranging a secret signal between them. Seeing that they were about to substitute her sister Leah for her, however, Rachel confided the sign to her sister so that Leah would not be put to shame..." Rachel buries her desire to marry Jacob, and gives the signals to Leah. What's more, Rachel also buries her jealousy, in order to be able to carry out her plan with the purest intentions. Rachel asks God the following: "If I, as a flesh and blood mortal, was able to transcend my jealousy and anger, how much more so should You, an immortal King, find compassion for Your people."

 

The Midrash tells us that, as soon as she says this, God responds to Rachel's tears. He promises, for her sake, that He will ultimately redeem the Jews from their exile: "Rachel recalled her own magnanimity to her sister, Leah. When Leah was fraudulently married to Jacob in place of Rachel, Rachel did not let jealous resentment lead her to protest. Why then, should God be so zealous in punishing His children for bringing idols into His Temple? God accepted her plea and promised that Israel would be redeemed eventually, in her merit."

 

As it is written in Jeremiah (31:14), "Thus said Hashem: A voice is heard on high, wailing, bitter weeping, Rachel weeps for her children; she refuses to be consoled for her children, for they are gone. Thus said Hashem: Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears; for there is reward for your accomplishment - the word of Hashem - and they will return from the enemy's land. There is hope for your future - the word of Hashem - and your children will return to their border."

 

Why is it that God responds to Rachel and not to the Patriarchs or to Moshe? Certainly these were men of greatness and inordinate dedication to the Jewish people. Reb Tzadok HaKohen of Lublin proposes that the difference lies in the initiative Rachel takes, without first having to be commanded by God. From this perspective, we can say that the Patriarchs and Moshe perform their acts of self-sacrifice in response to God's command. Rachel, on the other hand, takes it upon herself to mastermind a plan that will save her sister's dignity, without any prior directive from God.

 

Had Rachel followed through with her own marriage to Jacob, God would not have held her responsible for Leah's embarrassment. This is because Leah's predicament would have been Laban's fault, since the plan was his. Nonetheless, Rachel takes it upon herself to act above and beyond her obligations. Accordingly, Rachel comes to God with a very strong argument for why her own actions should be a model for God in His treatment of the exiled Jewish people. She is able to say to God, "According to "halacha" (Jewish law) there is no reason why You should save Your people, since they have clearly transgressed. But, inasmuch as I acted with compassion to save my sister, You should do the same." And God accepts.

 

What we learn from Rachel's tears is that, when a person's actions surpass his or her obligations, God will reciprocate in kind - which is to say, beyond what they deserve according to conventional justice. Our sages tell us that if we want God's favorable judgement, say, on Rosh Hashanah, we should go an extra mile for someone else, even if we are not obligated to do so by Jewish law. This will enable us to convincingly advocate for ourselves in His presence.

 

In general, tears have a negative connotation, since we associate them with pain and difficulty. On the contrary, tears are the soul's response to a profound experience. We can now understand why, in order to appreciate Rachel and Leah, we have to examine the source of their tears. Leah cries out of fear that she may not be able to participate in building the Jewish Nation. Rachel cries for Israel her exiled children. Both Matriarchs teach us how tears express the essence of a Jewish woman.

 

We should always ask ourselves, "What do we have to care about to the extent that we'll cry?" This question will help us to define our values, set our priorities and direct our spiritual growth.

Rebbetzin Leah Kohn, editor of Women in Judaism, is the Director of the Jewish Renaissance Center , a learning institute for women located in New York City.

Intimacy: The Jewish Approach

Part 2 of 2

Mrs. Feige Twersky

"Judaism views sexuality in marriage as an expression of the couple's deeper spiritual bond. In the temporary absence of physical relations, a couple is encouraged to focus on and further develop those aspects of the marriage that underlie and give spiritual life to their sexual relationship."

-Tziporah Heller

Our Bodies, Our Souls

Our previous class explored the power of mikvah - and the associated practice of family purity - to bring cohesiveness to a marriage and a sense of monthly renewal to the Jewish woman and her husband. Against today's backdrop of sexual permissiveness, emotional frustration and relationship chaos, mikvah reminds us that love has spiritual underpinnings that are best cultivated with a measure of restraint and the other advantages mikvah offers.

Our current class further explores the benefits that result from the monthly phases of a couple's physical separation and togetherness, following a woman's immersion in the mikvah.

It seems appropriate that mikvah is a woman's privilege, given mikvah's association with the integrity of the household, and the fact that the woman is generally at the center of domestic life. Immersion presents the Jewish woman an opportunity to request God's assistance in her efforts to muster the physical, spiritual and intellectual energy she needs in order to create a wholesome, prosperous environment for herself and others. Mikvah's potential benefits include ongoing marital freshness. Today's divorce rate hints at the problems that arise once the initial excitement of marriage wears off. The Talmud, as if in response to this transition in a marriage, comments that something perpetually available risks eventually losing its initial luster. Thus, over time the accessibility that a married man and woman have to one another may have a negative impact on their relationship. Torah sets forth mikvah as a panacea for this trouble. The period between a couple's monthly sep aration and the woman's mikvah night is approximately two weeks. Because of this regular hiatus, the Talmud tells us, husband and wife become a new bride and groom, again and again.

Another advantage of mikvah is that it teaches us the value of restraint. In a world that asks us to abandon control altogether, husband and wife in a Jewish marriage undergo a regular program of separation. This exercise in restraint becomes a learned response in the outside world, when temptations arise.

The physical separation associated with mikvah provides husband and wife a chance to focus on the individuality that Torah considers a prerequisite for a healthy marriage. The idea that husband and wife should challenge and inspire one another is a major force in the cohesiveness of the ideal Jewish relationship. This dynamic "oneness" that results from reuniting two halves of soul is the spiritual basis of Jewish marriage. The unique identity of each soul is to be further refined by the teamwork that marriage requires, rather than compromised by the challenges marriage presents.

Finally, mikvah provides an opportunity for heightened verbal communication, given that it limits the physical interaction that may from time to time replace substantial conversation. It is widely acknowledged that a couple's ability to communicate has a lot to do with the success of their relationship. Given that effective communication is a learned skill, mikvah offers a couple free monthly practice sessions.

The deeper spiritual benefits of mikvah and family purity are beyond the scope of this class. In simple, effective terms one thing is clear: without serving a higher purpose, our physical intimacy remains just physical. Mikvah has the potential to enrich both the couple and the individuals who comprise the marital unit.

Andre-Moshe Pereira, Pres. Kehillah Or Ahayim
Director Ceimom: Porto_GAIA